Henry's Birth Story

I can't believe it is my turn to share how my dear, sweet boy came into our family. I have read many of these "birth stories" on other blogs and have looked forward to the day that I got to see the birth of our first baby unfold. Here I am, with Little Henry curled up on my chest, and I get to kiss and smell his sweet head as I write down his miraculous entry to earth.
Let's start a couple of weeks back. About two weeks before Henry's birth, I was sitting in one of my twice weekly NST's (non stress tests) where they monitored his heartbeat for 20 minutes to make sure he wasn't under stress. He always did great and I always loved hearing his heartbeat. It was during one of those that the nurse said "You're having a contraction right now, can you feel that?" I had felt a slight cramping, but didn't think much of it until she told me what it was. Pregnancy is not without it's fair share of aches and pains, so what was another little twinge of discomfort? Well, now that I knew what a tiny contraction felt like, I noticed them. They weren't super regular, or even painful, but they were noticeable.
Not too long after realizing I was having "warming up contractions" we received the news that Ronnie's grandpa had passed away and the funeral was going to be here in Salt Lake. We felt lucky that we would be able to attend but I was also scared to death that I would have a baby with all of Ronnie's family was in town, during the funeral. To add to my fears, Ronnie and I ended up having to give talks in sacrament meeting with only 2 weeks until our due date and while we both came down with NASTY colds.
Heavenly Father heard my pleas and Henry stayed put until the funeral was over, mine and Ronnie's colds had gone away, and we were emotionally ready for Henry's arrival.
Now that we have a little back story, do you mind if I switch gears? I realize there are many that have been anxiously waiting to read our birth story, but I know myself, and even though I would like to think I would write a version down just for Henry, I probably won't get around to it, so I am going to use this opportunity to write him his very first letter from me.

Dear Henry,

My First Born Son. Do you know how incredibly special and loved you are? Mom and Dad thought they would wait much longer than they did to get you, but we both felt a strong urge to go ahead and start trying for a family. We weren't sure if Dad's injury would make our process a little longer than usual. As it turns out, Heavenly Father knew we needed you right away and I found out I was pregnant with you in what seems like a blink of an eye.

The Lord's timing was perfect. I ended up turning a really good job down in Wyoming so I wouldn't have to be away from you once you were born. Dad took a job in Wyoming that eventually led him to an amazing job in Utah that we wouldn't have even considered if I had been working too. You endured two moves before you even entered the world but you took it easy on me and I had a great pregnancy.

Mom and Dad had only been in Salt Lake 2 months when it was your time to arrive. Life was a little crazy those last two months, but you waited until exactly the perfect day to come. I woke up early on the morning of Saturday, February 9th and could feel that the contractions I had been experiencing for the past two weeks were stronger and much more regular. I just knew that you would be coming soon so I started picking up the house and getting things in order so we would be ready to bring you home if we ended up in the hospital soon. I made dad go to the grocery store with me and even take me to Target so I would feel prepared when it was time to go to the hospital. Our friends the Dahlin's came over and not too long after they left, my contractions got much stronger. We went and picked up some dinner but I couldn't even eat because the contractions were too distracting. (You know if french fries are in from of me and I am not touching them, something big is about to happen).

I called my mom to tell her my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, lasting for a minute and she told me to go ahead and go to the hospital. I really hadn't been having them for long so I waited another couple of hours and then your Dad and I packed up the car and went to the hospital.

It was snowing pretty heavily and we seemed to be the only ones out on the road. It was so peaceful and quiet all around us, with the snow softly falling as we drove that very short, but very long drive to the hospital. It seemed to be the way you wanted to come to us, peacefully. It was about midnight when we got to the hospital. The nurses checked me and I was only dilated to a 1 1/2. They sent us home and said to come back when the pain got worse. Not words you like to hear when you already think you are in pain.

Lucky for me, I had the world's best labor coach. Your dad was right by my side through every minute. The nurses at the hospital gave me some pain killers to help me through the next few hours. All they really did was make me really sleepy. Your dad would let me sleep for 4 minutes and was right there waiting for me when the next contraction would come and I needed him to tell me it was almost over and how great I was doing. We did this for 5 1/2 more hours. Mom falling asleep, waking up to a contraction building up, and Dad watching over her with more love and concern in his eyes than I had ever seen before. He rubbed my back, held my hand, and showed me the kind of tenderness that is so hard to find in men anymore.

Finally at 5:30 am on Sunday, February 10th, we went back into the hospital and I was dilated to a 5! They checked me in and I said "Give me that epidural!" I had really wanted to go drug free, out of curiosity of what natural childbirth felt like. Nothing kills that curiosity like actual childbirth.

After the epidural kicked in very quickly, I was able to drift in and out of sleep for a couple hours before the Dr. gave the go ahead to break my water. That was at about noon. The Dr. got to the hospital at about 1:00pm and they told me I could start pushing at about 1:30. I had been told by many friends that I should really get a photographer to document your birth, and maybe I should have, but I loved exactly who was in the room, and the memories I have of that day. I hate being photographed and just knowing that it was me and my sweetheart let me really enjoy what was happening.

Although I was pushing and it is usually a climactic, crazy situation in the movies, it was absolutely peaceful in our room. I knew I was about to become a mom, but it didn't feel real yet. Between pushing, I would look up at your dad and enjoyed the feelings of love and excitement we were feeling. We quietly told each other words of encouragement between pushes, and slipped in "I love you" here and there, and after just 30 minutes of pushing, you were placed into my arms and I looked at your big eyes blinking up at me, knowing in that moment you knew me better than I knew myself. Just like that, I was a mom. You were my baby. We fell in love.

As your father and I breathed you in those first few moments, I loved seeing the doctors and nurses pause every few minutes to watch as we became a family. What a wonderful job they must have! I am sure they get to see many amazing births and lots of love shared, but I like to think that the love your dad and I have for each other, and beginning at that moment- for you, is a little more special than usual.

Your birth was very special and sacred to me, and I am so glad that it is your Daddy that I got to share it with. Our lives were suddenly changed forever in a bigger way than we ever could have imagined, but it is the best change that has ever happened. I love you more than any words could ever express! I thank Heavenly Father everyday that He chose me to be your Mama.

Love,
Mom

*Thank you to our dear friend Val Dahlin for coming to the hospital the day after Henry was born and getting these great photos of our newborn baby boy!

Nursery!

Well, it is finally in a state that I don't mind showing it off! There are a few last little things that need to be done, but they will happen once we get the little guy here and named. If you can't tell, our theme was southwestern cowboy with lots of little man vintage. It pretty much has turned into a reflection of both mine and Ronnie's style and all the little knick knack things we have picked up along the way.

One of my favorite things about the nursery is how involved so many of our loved ones have been in it. We probably didn't spend more than $100 on the nursery because of how generous everyone has been to us, and a lot of it has been things we both have collected from thrift and antiques stores along the way. So are you ready to dive in? (disclaimer: I am by no means a great photographer, nor do I ever really aspire to be, so be forgiving on the quality of the photos.)

This is the view of the room from the hall. The pendant banner was made by my amazingly talented sister Chelsey for my baby shower in New Mexico. It originally said Lil' Buckaroo but I had to shorten it to fit in the room. I can't even imagine the time and love she spent on it.

This is an old map of Utah Ronnie got me for Christmas. It comes from a children's book from the 1960's and is so perfect!

My dear friend Aubrey made this for a baby present for us and it goes absolutely perfect with the theme! And how perfect is that quote? I already dread our little baby growing up and he isn't even here yet.

Can you tell we like clutter? The shelving was built in and makes for the perfect framing of a crib. The frames above the crib will eventually have mine and Ronnie's baby pictures as well as our little guy, and maybe some family ones if I get enough motivation. Above that shelf we will get big wooden letters and spell out his name (we just need to name him first).

Our original crib was one my sister Brittani gave us that many of her little ones used and was gorgeous, but just a few inches too wide for the built in shelving. She so graciously let us sell it and we were able to buy this Jenny Lind style crib which goes perfect with our vintage style (and we got a steal of a deal on KSL). My sisters got me this adorable crib bedding and the beautiful rug hanging behind the crib is one given to me by my grandfather. One of the many amazing touches he added to the nursery. And the quilt on the crib and little blanket were made for me and given two me from two of my sister-in-laws (shout out Steph and Shauna!)

And these full shelves! Notice the flag up top. One of my most prized possessions! My brother gave it to me. He flew it in his huge C-17 when he was deployed.

Our heroes and what our little guy will grow up on. Elvis and Johnny.

This is an old toolbox I got off KSL that belonged to a man's grandpa who used it in his horse shoeing business. It is filled with little knick knacks and cute little things given to us.

The wooden truck was given to Ronnie by a family friend who made it for him while he was in the hospital recovering.

I made the little letter artwork from some old letterpress letters I picked up at an antique store. I absolutely love it! And the Bow-tie bottle is one my mom picked up and that we used at our wedding reception because it so perfectly represents Ronnie. Ronnie has picked up the coke bottles that were made in cities we love-Salt Lake City and Durango.

The changing station: To make diaper changes easier for Ronnie, we made the changing station on top of the dresser. Don't worry, the lamp wont be there, I just forgot to move it before taking pictures.

My grandpa used to raise race horses and he gave me all these ribbons from his horse days. My sister-in-law Annie helped me figure out what to do with them and I love how the shadow box turned out!

The rocker was given to us by the lady I nannied for in Wyoming and the blanket is a present from my mother-in-law. I can hardly wait to snuggle and nurse there.

We sold Ronnie's dresser from his single days and were able to get this one off KSL. And the rug? Another great gift from my Papa.

Here is a little touch of New Mexico that I picked up in a thrift store back home. I am ridiculously attached to this $5 find.

And one last look at the room with the rocking horse I am painting that I picked up at Goodwill.

Thanks for taking a peek into our little guy's room and for all of those who contributed to it! I didn't even talk about half the things in it! Now, let's put a baby in there!

39 weeks 3 days

Well, Little Man seems to be perfectly happy right where he is at. I went to the Dr. today and while I swear I can feel a little head grinding away on my pelvic bones, Dr. Sharp said he still isn't very low and I am not dilated at all. I'm not too disappointed because Ronnie and I are still getting over the last little bits of a terrible cold that has been hanging around for a couple weeks.
I have been feeling mild contractions throughout the day for a week now but nothing that gets me too excited. It is actually kind of nice to know my body is warming up and that it won't just suddenly just hit me. My Dr. set up an induction date for the 17th if I haven't gone into labor naturally before then. If you would have asked me a couple months ago when I was going to have this baby, I would have told you closer to my original due date in January and never would have imagined possibly going over Feb. 11th. I am so glad that Heavenly Father knows better and has his own timing. Ronnie's grandpa passed away and the funeral was here in Utah last weekend. I was a nervous wreck for a little while worrying that I would have a baby while the funeral was going on and with all of Ronnie's family in town, and while I was sick with a cold. But as I have learned more than this year than any other, God knows best and he has our little family cradled in his palm, leading us exactly where we need to be, when we need to be there. Thank goodness for a Heavenly Father who cares about all the little details in our lives!

That doesn't have to be us

Can I make a confession? I have felt like I have been in a bit of a mourning period this past week or so. Not a word you usually associate with having a baby, but it is the word that best describes what I have been experiencing. At first I thought I was just feeling anxious about going into labor (which don't be mistaken, I very much am). But even that didn't seem to define what I have been feeling. I thought maybe it was a mix of nerves about becoming a parent and the unknown of when our baby will be arriving, and all the planning I try to do but realize is pretty pointless. But still, even all that wasn't putting into words what was nagging at me. Then I noticed something:

Ronnie and I have been hanging onto each hug a little longer and giving each other an extra kiss when we can. The words "I love you" have been repeated more times than usual and morning snuggles are quickly coming becoming a part of our routine. What is our problem? Neither one of is going anywhere, yet we are clinging onto each other like one of us is leaving for a long trip.

Then as I was reading my book "Baby Makes 3", it dawned on me that we both are realizing our relationship is about to experience a major change. Is it a bad one? Not in the least! It is a pretty miraculous one, but a very stressful one from what everything and everyone says. All the statistics point to the birth of a baby as a major shift in most marriages and the transition to parenthood causes a moderate to severe crisis in many relationships. As I have been reading and preparing, the thought kept sneaking into my mind, "Why are we doing this? I am perfectly happy with what we have now!"

As I have given it more thought, and allowed myself to feel those feelings, I think I am coming to a realization:

That doesn't have to be us.

When we first got married, we would hear about how hard the first year of marriage is and how hard adjusting to living with your spouse can be. I know for many couples that is the case, but it was the opposite of the truth for us. The past year and a half have been absolute bliss. I never knew I could be so content spending so much time with one person, working through any disagreements as rare as they may be, stretching my own comfort levels to make someone else happy, and gauging my own happiness by the happiness I bring to him. Nothing has been more rewarding than the friendship I share with my husband and my marriage to him. I am continually amazed he would choose me for his wife. When we do encounter stress or a disagreement, we always come out of it feeling more love towards each other and in the end, more happiness than I ever knew possible.

Just this morning Ronnie went to the doctor with me. I was so looking forward to having him there with me and taking part in what my life has been for the past few weeks. Unfortunately, because of slick roads, always feeling like a failure if I am 1 minute late, and constantly being pestered about my blood pressure (thanks for passing that genetic prize on Dad), I was less than patient and not very considerate of what it might be like for Ronnie to be in a hospital environment again. We went to breakfast afterwards and I ended up letting my hormones take control. Never try and shove hash browns in your mouth while trying to control tears running down your face. Such a waste of deliciousness. It felt like what I was going through right then was the worst thing in the whole wide world. Ronnie and I talked through it calmly and with love, and in the end my tears switched from "Whoa is me!" to tears of absolute appreciation for my loving husband. Our poor waitress deserves a much bigger tip than we left her for pretending not to see the crying Goodyear blimp as she faithfully refilled my water glass.

So why does parenting have to be any different? Will we be exhausted from long nights, poopy diapers, piles of laundry, and spit-up soaked clothes? You betcha. But I think it is those moments of selflessness towards someone else that make you love them so darn much. I trust that Ronnie and I have the communication skills to let the other know when we need something from them. We could keep sailing along at a comfortable pace, just me and him, but then I wouldn't get the satisfaction of loving him more than I do now. While it is hard to imagine bringing another man into my life that I could possibly love as much as his daddy, I am so excited to give it a whirl and fall head over heels for what will surely become my greatest treasure on Earth.

Nesting

Well, as of Monday, we have 4 weeks until the due date. Most first pregnancies go past the due date, but I am really hoping for the opposite. Tonight my ribs are sore from a cute little body snuggling up to them. You know the scene from Jungle Book where Baloo the bear is scratching his back on the tree? That is what it feels like our kid has been doing on my ribs.

And forget trying to sit through movies in the theater anymore. We went and saw "Here Comes the Boom" in the dollar theater and it felt like the kid was getting into the UFC fighting spirit inside of me. It must be getting a little crowded in there for him.
I am feeling pretty prepared supply-wise for the baby, and the nursery is about 1/2 way to being done, but I feel like my nesting has switched from "Do we have everything?" to "Do we know enough to have a baby?!" Luckily I have some pretty amazing friends and they themselves are a wealth of knowledge and have supplied me with an amazing library of information. I am loving diving in and reading away. My Dr. appointments became weekly starting this week, and because the umbilical cord has one vein instead of two, I get to go for an additional 2 more times a week to do Non Stress Tests (NST's)where they check to make sure there is plenty of amniotic fluid and that the baby isn't under stress by hooking up a heart monitor up to my belly and observing it for 40 minutes. All this time waiting at the Dr.'s is giving me plenty of time to read, so I thought I'd share what we are doing to pretend to be ready to become parents:

And Baby Makes 3

I found this at D.I. and am glad I picked it up for 50 cents. When I worked at KOTM we had a marriage class based on Dr. Gottman's books. We leave this book on the kitchen table and whenever either one of us sits down for a few minutes we open it up and read a few pages. I have been worried about how the baby is going to change mine and Ronnie's relationship. I honestly feel like we have the best marriage in the history of EVER (ambitious, but probably not something I should feel guilty for thinking). Reading that having a healthy marriage is the best thing you can do as a parent makes me feel like I have a head start.

Baby Wise

This book has been recommended to be by lots of people and if it helps us get more sleep sooner, I will do anything it says. Pregnancy has started to prepare me for life with little sleep, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it.

The Nursing Mother's Companion

I have had nightmares about nursing. Strange, I know, but it is something that seems so foreign. With child birth I know that whether I know what I am doing or not, my body will do what it needs and it will happen. Successful nursing, on the other hand, is very much something I have to work for. Lucky for me, I have sisters with lots of experience and friends that are gurus. I am so lucky to have to such an amazing support system!

Hypnobirthing CD's

My friend Rebecca sent this to me and I have had several friends use hypnobirthing as a way to help with preparing for labor and childbirth. It sounds strange, but it is actually very comforting to be doing something ahead of time to feel prepared and to feel like I have tools in my belt to help me through labor. I listen to the CD's and just relax and enjoy the positive affirmations that combat all the negative things you hear about giving birth. (THANK YOU REBECCA!)

Natural Health After Birth

This is another gem sent to me from Rebecca and I am excited to start it. Everyone has all sorts of advice for how to have a healthy pregnancy and birth experience, but what about afterwards? I am glad I will have this book to turn to to help me feel like it isn't just all about baby and what to do with this strange frame I am left with once our little handsome gets here.

So there you have it. I am a little obsessed, but I am loving that I actually get to apply this stuff in my own life, and am not just learning it to help others out in my profession. I am also looking forward to having fingers that aren't the same size as Costco hotdogs and that fit a real wedding ring on them. 4 more weeks!

34 weeks and counting

I know it's been forever and I have about 15 post ideas rolling around in my head but have yet to write a single one down. I figured I would at least write a quick post about what it has been like this past month or so, especially pregnancy wise.

It's old news now, but at the beginning of November Ronnie got a job offer in the Park City area and we accepted and were moved into a little duplex by Dec. 1st. I probably lifted way too much and relaxed way too little, but with the help of fabulous friends and family, we made the move and by the first night we said lots of prayers of gratitude for all the help and love we felt. From day one of being back in Utah it has felt perfect and we know we made the right choice.

Ronnie LOVES his new job and we are becoming Oakley School's biggest fans. I am convinced that work environment makes up 98% of an employees happiness and Ronnie found an amazing place to be. Not only does he get to ride to work each day with a friend, but he enjoys his coworkers, the trust his company has in him, the professionalism and positive attitude he is greeted with each day, and his amazing bosses that continually boost his confidence, and in turn he works hard to live up to their praise. I couldn't be more excited for him!

Right around the time of all the craziness with the move and trying to get set up in our new life, the third trimester hit and I wanted to go back to a daily nap schedule. Making a baby fat is tiring. My belly continues to grow and the little guy tends to move around when Ronnie gets home, when I play music really loud, and at night. Lately I have been feeling like he is trying to bust out of the womb and say "Give me some room in there, why don't you!". It's no longer cute little wiggles and squirms, but a realization that we are running out of space to share.

I am quickly getting over my abhorrence for public restrooms. I HATE having to pee so often and to feel the urge so strongly. It is one thing to have to go really badly and then feel relief when the "flood gates" are opened. But to be greeted with "here comes the little stream" each time you run to the bathroom is so disappointing. (my sincerest apologies go out to my Papa who will undoutably read this last paragraph. Let's just move forward...)

My feet don't feel too swollen but they must be because only a few pairs of shoes still fit. I really hope my feet and fingers return to their former glory and Ronnie won't have to look like the ghetto husband who bought his wife a turquoise wedding ring. I miss my antique beauty and look forward to showing it off again.

I've pretty much given up on exercising for the moment. How motivating is bundling up to go on a freezing walk or trying to balance your way through yoga when your body just gets rounder anyway? Let's hope my post baby body will scare me enough into picking up some good exercise routines again. I've gotten so used to being pregnant, I'm a little scared of what is in store afterwards. What does it feel like to get up from the couch quickly, or to lay on your stomach, or twist easily when buckling your seatbelt? I have forgotten, and I am sure it will be glorious, but all of those things seem so much less satisfying when I think of the bowl of jello jigglers my stomach will be. It will all be worth it for my little buddy that is cooking up so cute right now. I can't hardly wait to meet him!

Spoke too soon

Well, If you haven't heard, our time in Wyoming has expired much quicker than we imagined and we are headed back to Utah. Ronnie was offered a great job working at a boarding school doing individual, family, and substance abuse therapy with the students from families who pay more in tuition each month than we will ever pay in tithing each year haha! It was kind of a no brainer to accept the job, and one of the best perks is that he will get to work with one of his good friends and they will carpool from Salt Lake to just outside of Park City together.

So, for the second time this pregnancy, I will be packing boxes and setting up shop in hopes to prepare a nice little home before this baby arrives. During our first move, I was still in the first trimester and working full time. Packing happened after work, between naps, and when I didn't think I was going to spew all over everything.

This time around, we made the decision over the phone. I was in New Mexico for close to two weeks (I will do a post on that adventure soon)watching my brothers kids. I will have much more time on my hands during the day to pack (now that I am back in WY) it is just the motivation I am lacking.
The 3rd trimester has hit me with a brand new wave of fatigue and nausea. Poor Ronnie is so excited about this move (and I am as well) but I usually start getting teary eyed just thinking about packing a box. Luckily we have this whole holiday weekend to work on it together.

Yesterday I had another ultrasound along with my glucose test (yuck! but no gestational diabetes here) another blood draw for something I am pretty sure they have already checked, the whooping cough vaccination, and the flu shot. I am so glad I had the ultrasound to motivate me to go to the appointment. The umbilical cord is supposed to have one main vein and two arteries. Mine has just one artery. The Dr recommended doing an ultrasound each month just to keep an eye on the baby's growth. Well, at 28 1/2 weeks along, the little guy is measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule (so he is measuring at 30 weeks!) My due date has always been a little questionable, so who knows when this son of ours will decide to come. No single artery umbilical cord could keep this kid from growing. We finally got to see his cute little face and I haven't been able to stop staring at it since. I will just have to hang that blurry, fuzzy, ultrasound pic up where ever I am packing and use that as motivation.

So with 3 (or maybe even less) months left, we have been asked if we have a name yet. For some reason it feels strange naming someone we haven't met yet. Our list of names has been narrowed down but we haven't spent much time talking about it. We haven't even started tossing around middle names. There aren't that many family names left on my side of the family, but he will be the 3rd grandkid on Ronnie's side, we have plenty to choose from on his side, but we very likely could choose a very neutral name. I learned my lesson the hard way that names really aren't that fun to talk about before the baby is here. Once you name the kid, nobody can really give their opinion, but for some reason beforehand, people think its okay to tell you what they think you should name the child you are working so hard to grow. (don't worry, if you have said you like one of the names I have shared with you, I love that) I know I have been guilty of name suggesting before. Lesson learned.

Now that my thoughts have jumped around for much to long, I will wrap up and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Ronnie and I will be enjoying this one just the two of us! We are going to take it easy and count our many blessings as we prepare for the many adventures ahead!